Way to a Man's Heart
Way to a Man's Heart is the third episode of Season 4 of Letterkenny. Synopsis Tanis recruits the Hicks, who recruit the Hockey Players, to help with a feud on the Rez. Cold Open It's a great day for hay at the produce stand. Dan blows his nose on his sleeve, and Daryl kicks off his boots. Katy objects loudly to both, asking whether this is a degen convention, but Wayne wonders how hard you're working if you don't do either. Daryl says he is concerned about toenail fungus on account of how moist it is in the boots. Katy tells him it is the last time she will hear that word coming out of his mouth—not fungus, not marinate, but moist. The male Hicks proceed to rattle off various names and phrases substituting moist for one of the syllables. Katy gets up, pours beers on each of their heads, and leaves in a huff, saying "there you go, now you're moist." Reilly and Jonesy praise their chirping, as well as their physiques, and after a further discussion of terminology, formally declare friendship with Ron and Dax. Tanis has come to the produce stand to ask for the Hick's help with the two Native women, Shyla and Shania, "the two newest strays on the Rez." They have turned Axe and Slash against her, presumably because they are banging them, because they are banging everybody. Katy adds that they are selling darts to kids, though Wayne thinks all kids are shit and would have found the darts one way or another. When she says they called her a skank, however, Wayne declares "Game on!" Dan is not sure that kicking Axe and Slash's asses will bring them back to Tanis. She adds that every woman knows the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and there is a big cookout on the Rez today; this will bring them back to her. It sounds to Wayne like a plan: Tanis hates that word: snatch. The boys begin riffing snatch-based puns one after the other, upsetting both Tanis and Katy. Katy points out that Shyla and Shania have other guys with them, so Wayne and the others might want to call in a favor. Just then, the hockey players drive up, and are recruited to join them. At the dollar store parking lot, the Skids and Glen approach each other finger-snapping, as if from West Side Story. Stewart asks Glen what would Jesus do in this situation; Glen replies that Jesus would respond with empathy, acceptance, and grace. Surprisingly, Stewart agrees that they will sample Jesus' style for the day, provided that Glen sample theirs. At the cookout at the Rez, the men variously question Tanis about her grilling technique. :Wayne: You're just gonna let this chicken sit uncovered, or… Daryl: Ya put the grill up to 500, you wanna turn that down a bit, or… Dan: Montreal steak spice would help that Bison meat. So you gonna sprinkle some on there or… Reilly: Sure you wanna put those fish and veggies on at the same time, or… Tanis: Yous wanna stop questioning Auntie Tanis' cooking? Jonesy: Still you're gonna squirt a little marinade on there, or… Tanis: Don't say that word. They proceed to a pun-off with squirt. Glen, dressed as a Skid, stands on a milk crate and advises them on sermonizing. Step one: guilt blasting'. Step two: guilt blastin' through prayer. Step three is the collection plate. He asks what the Skids' three steps are. They answer: Take this, press play, and dance. Axe and Slash, unimpressed with Shyla and Shania's cooking, start to ask questions, and are told to shut up. Tanis shouts back not to speak to them in that way, and they hurl insults at each other. They hate that word: clammy. The Letterkenny folk spew a series of puns featuring clammy. Wayne is getting impatient for a scrap. Glen coaches the Skids on gestures and hand motions for use in preaching; this devolves into the entire group dancing together, and Stewart tearing up the Bible. Reilly and Jonesy take the opportunity to approach Katy to see if she will date both of them again. She tells them she actually doesn't want to date either of them, but tells them to think of all the other snipes, a prospect which excites them again. At the other grill, Tanis shouts to Axe and Slash that they shouldn't have picked the pussy over a meal made by Auntie Tanis, and warns them they may not be the only ones in there: "Better watch out for that yeast." Shyla and Shania object to that word. The Letterkenny men rattle off yeast puns. Hours later, the Skids are exhausted from dancing, whereas Glen remains full of energy. Stewart asks Roald for drugs, but they are out of zoomers and rips; Glen gives them his, as he in fact has not taken any, and says the power of Christ compels him. At this Stewart concedes to share the dollar store parking lot. Axe and Slash are disappointed with Shyla and Shania's food, as the chicken is dry and you want it to be a bit moist. They object to that word, moist. The Letterkenny crowd resumes making moist puns. As they are doing so, two trucks pull up next to Shyla and Shania's spot and unload. The Hicks recognize them: Sled Ted, Rat Ass, Jivin' Pete. The degen who they encountered earlier at MoDean's introduces himself as Alistair Orson Westwood Yates, and they declare their intent to beat up Shyla, Shania, Axe, and Slash. The latter two, fearing for their lives, beg Tanis for help. After a massive scrap, the degens are driven off, and Tanis, reunited with Axe and Slash, shares a meal with the Letterkenny folk. Axe mentions he was worried about cooking the raw chicken so close to the veg; Wayne interrupts because he fuckin' hates that word: veg. Katy and Tanis riff puns of veg to bother him, with the others joining in. Finally, Wayne stands up, shakes up his beer, and sprays it at the others, who follow in turn. Quotes *Reilly: Fuck buddy, if anybody knows how hot we are, you're looking at 'em. Jonesy: There's a line-up around the block for this popup shop. Reilly: Yeah, and nobody's kicking this kid out of bed for eating crackers that's for sure. Jonesy: I've yet to see one customer not come back for seconds at that buffet. Reilly: Yeah, I bet you thought everybody skips the continental breakfast. Guess what, they don't. Jonesy: Take this ride and you're getting right back in line, boys. Dax: Truth is, you're not really our type, boys. Reilly: Bull-fucking-shit. Jonesy: Think we don't see you rocking semis? Dax: We're gay guys at the gym, we're always rockin' semis. * Reilly: So like, what are we supposed to call you then? Our gay buddies from the gym, or… Dax: We took gay in the expansion draft from you about a hundred years back. Jonesy: Butch? Ron: Shout out to our sisters in the women's league. Reilly: Fruit? Dax: Fruit had a cup of coffee in the show a few decades back, but never really produced for either of us. Jonesy: Bear? Ron: You guys released bear a while back for under performing and we got her at a friendly price. Been a real stud for us ever since. Reilly: Cub? Dax: Cub's been consistent since he put her on line with bear. Jonesy: Poofter? Ron: Still playing overseas, likely gonna retire there. Reilly: Nellie? Dax: Only your grandpa remembers that alumni. Jonesy: Homo? Ron: Homo maybe in your ring of honor, but never forget the body checks our goons threw down to end that career. Reilly: Queen? Ron: Queen is the best arena music of all time. But still, it's only for some. Reilly (to Jonesy): I'm not fucking saying it. Ron and Dax: Fag. Jonesy: Not sure that's P.C., but you said it. Ron: Fag got cut in the '80s, and may have cleared waivers, but we all made a gentlemen's agreement not to sign it because of behavior detrimental to the league. Dax: Call me Dax. Ron: Call me Ron. Reilly: Fuck, let's be buddies, Daxy. Jonesy: Let's be buds, Ronzy. Dax: Really? Reilly: Yeah. Fuck, you guys slam crush butts, we slam crush box, and the world keeps on turning, boys. Well, fuck, come over here and lay some skin on me, Daxy. Jonesy: Lay some skin on me, Ronzy. Reilly: Fist time! Look, Jonesy and I usually just fist each other like, just like that. * Dan: Katy was watching Squirty Dancing just yesterday. Okay, that's a lie; I was watching Squirty Dancing. It's a great movie. * Dan: You gotta respect athleticisms, Connor Moist-Gregor, Conner Moist-David, Floyd Moist-Weather. Why, they're all at the top of their classes. Daryl: They're all driving Moist-eradis, that's all I know. Wayne: May even a Rolls Moist. Or maybe a Moist-cedes Benz. Daryl: No Moist-subishis Eclipses in this bunch. Dan: They're not using Capital One Moister-Cards. Running Gags * Not sure that's P.C., but you said it Appearances * Wayne * Katy * Dan * Daryl * Shyla (Cara Gee) * Shania (Jade Willoughby) * Alistair (Wayne St. George) * Axe (Bradley Trudeau) * Slash (Dylan Cook) * Joint Boy * Tyson * Dax * Ron * Reilly * Jonesy * Tanis * Glen * Stewart * Roald * Big Native (Gregory Fisher Odjig) * Jivin' Pete (Ian Ronningen) * Sled Ted (Jason Lee Bell) * Rat Ass (Derek Barnes) * Various degens Locations * Farm * MoDean's II * Gym * Dollar store * The Rez Gallery GlenasSkid4x3.jpg Degen4x3.jpg AxeSlash4x3.jpg RonDaxReillyJonesyGym.jpg NativesOutsideModeans4x3.jpg ShylaShania4x3.jpg GlenSkids4x3.jpg Degens4x3.jpg DegenAllStars4x3.jpg DegenStandoff4x3.jpg Category:Episodes Category:Season 4